Self Sabotage Insight - Taking on The Role of Carer or Rescuer
The “rescuer” or “carer” in self sabotage is a common adaptation for fitting into the herd. It’s a safe role to play inside the tribe because very few tribes cast their “carer” aside. The societal roles we adopt rarely reflect anything but our need to acquire the most safety. The carer or rescuer role always ends in misery, addiction and premature death. Here's why.
The “rescuer” or “carer” is a personality type many people adopt, where they always find the wounded bird to take care of their entire lives. They program themselves to believe that everyone else deserves care, attention and rescuing.....while usually giving themselves no care or self maintenance in return. You can't give from an empty well. The carer or rescuer always drain themselves and then keep giving well beyond their ability to recover. They do this because they believe "giving" is the safer role to play inside the tribe. The carer or rescuer often seeks out the most dysfunctional groups or individuals to care for, in order to fulfill their subconscious adaptation programming. The more dysfunctional the group or person to care for, the better.
The "carer" or "rescuer" often come from family backgrounds where their parents were dysfunctional, addicted, medicated, diseased, self abusive etc. This translates into a need to rescue others for life, when in reality the young adult (who becomes the carer or rescuer) is simply attempting to rescue or care for their parents subconsciously, for the rest of their days. The rescuer or carer behaviour program often represents a dysfunctional bonding adaptation with the alpha and omega figures (mother and/or father) from their original family unit.
This often manifests as the carer or rescuer taking up employment in nursing, mental health sectors, the medical field, charity work, religious organizations, the social justice movement or a wing of government that tries to "help" the less fortunate etc etc. Each organization listed only produces more dysfunctional people, which is great for the carer or rescuer, because the supply of victims never dries up. In psychology you become who you hang around, so the tragic end to this story is already baked in the cake. This leads to the person always giving their energy away yet never getting any energy back in return.......which is just the way the carer or rescuer like it. To them, playing the victim or martyr (compared to rising up to their full potential) is more beneficial for gaining societal attention.
That's the big secret though, you can care for tens of thousands more effectively if you're super successful. If you're successful on all levels, you don't have to give until you bleed.....and therefore everyone wins.
The carer or rescuer is simply afraid of being successful on all levels because that brings judgement from other tribal members who are equally afraid of rising up to their full potential. The rescuer or carer doesn't even believe they deserve anything more than being the doormat or the martyr. This is why they get stuck in their stuckness.
The carer or rescuer is always drained of their energy, which is where they feel most comfortable and safe.
Comfortable and safe as the perpetual punching bag for others, who often prey on people who are willing to give away their energy for free. The rescuer and carer are super comfortable and feel safer giving yet never receiving. The “carer” cares for everyone else but themselves, even though they suffer immensely under the societal role they decided to adopt, in order to find security in the tribe.
The “carer” believes they'll be attacked if they rise up beyond the dysfunction of the tribe and the pain this role causes them daily. It's a trap, as all self sabotage cycles are. There is no greater safety to be found when you actively destroy yourself, in order to fit into a society that routinely consumes its own. If the carer or rescuer rises up to their true potential, they fear becoming the proverbial tall poppy that gets hacked down by the underachieving hoards who do this hacking as an Olympic sport. Yes it's scary to rise above the average, but that's not a good enough reason to dull your shine for your entire life!
No one hates the janitor yet most people hate the CEO. It's safer at the bottom than the top. If people lack the courage to make it to the top of the crab bucket, the bottom is where you can feel safer in the bigger cluster of childlike crabs, who watch life from the cheap seats. In the end “the carer” or “rescuer” equates suffering to taking the high moral ground but it's the ultimate ambush. They’re just simply afraid to let the best of themselves shine through and pursue the amazing life they’re completely capable of manifesting for themselves at any time.
If you find any truth in this short explanation and you would like to overcome your personal self sabotage, email me at email@example.com Title your email, "I want to change. It's time. I'm ready." Are you tired of playing small? If you are, make a move.